Who Is Actually 100%?

Guest Author: Sully Sullivan

Baseball, football, basketball, golf...Every athlete, regardless of the sport, plays with pain. An NFL wide receiver blows out his knee, no big deal. He simply goes on the Injury Reserve list. A Major League third basemen has a hang nail, he goes on the DL for a month (read Chipper Jones). So why is the media hanging on Tigers Woods' last word? He screwed up his knee and takes 4 months off. Big Deal!

The Reunion Tour has a member that underwent partial knee replacement PLUS ACL replacement earlier this year. Have you heard word one from Scotty 7 about his issues? Nope! Has he every used his injury as an excuse for carding a 1 million during a Reunion Cup round? Never. He just goes about his business on a daily basis without complaining or whining to the media. Nor has he slept with every hooker, housewife or Perkins waitress around. One Reunion Tour member that I caught up with had this to say about Scotty 7, "He really seems to be playing better golf since his surgery. He struggled early on, but never used his knee issues as a crutch. Given what I have seen from his game this year, I think he should have had surgery years ago!" We need more athletes like Scotty 7 in the world. He is a true sports icon.

And then there is Dick. Yes, he has more Reunion Cup victories than anyone in history. Yes, he is a gritty, grind-it-out type of player with deceptive length. And yes, he is always complaining of some new injury. It may be a neck, back, an old wrestling injury or a new Dungeon and Dragon injury. It is always something. Now it is the dreaded Loopus (again, no to be confused with lupus) or a debilitating iron deficiency. The two most crippling diseases know to the golfing world. When contacted earlier today Dick said, "After talking it over with my family, we have decided to keep this a private matter until we know more. We would appreciate some privacy in this matter." This quote comes after a press release from Dick's camp earlier this week. Could this be another Tiger Woods issue? Will we find Dick sleeping with local IHOP waitresses? Is he past he prime and washed up? All I know is that there are some real issues going on with this Reunion Tour legend. I for one hope that Dick finds this answer to his issues. Covering the Reunion Tour without him would not be the same. He has always be a favorite among the media.

Has Hell Frozen Over?

Guest Author: Sully

Has hell frozen over? Are pigs actually flying this week? Did Luna really win a Reunion Tour event? If I were a betting man, I would place my money (and a ton of it) on one of the first two options! Both would appear more likely to happen than Luna winning ANY type of GOLF event. Well I, along with the rest of the betting world, would be on the losing end of that bet.

Luna did win the Greater Atlanta Classic this past Sunday held at St. Marlo Country Club by posting an incredible 81. What made his 81 incredible was how he began his round. Luna stepped up to the range and hacked, sliced, chunked, shanked and dribbled nearly 100 balls no more than 35 yards from the spot in which he stood! One man that witness this train wreck said, "How in the hell does this guy hold a job, any job, in the golf industry?" Somehow Luna managed to shake off 100 poorly struck range ball and run off par after par during his round. At one point he carded 6 straight pars! Even more incredible than Luna's win, was the fact that Dick posted an EASY 38 on the front 9 and failed to close. Dick put up back-to-back birdies on 6 and 7, only to miss a 3rd consecutive birdie by less than an inch on 8. When I caught up with Dick after the round he was in shock. "If you had told me at the turn that Luna would win today, I would have told you 'bullshit'." As easy as his 38 was on the front 9, his 48 on the back was anything but. Dick struggled with his tee shots on the backside, often finding himself in the trees or even reloading. After congratulating Luna on his victory, Dick informed the press that he was heading straight to the Reunion Tour physician to be checked out. "I am worried that it is a case of Loopus (not to be confused with Lupus) or an iron deficiency." Luna was also concerned about Dick's health. "I am really worried about him. He simply does not have the strength to put 2 9's together this year. His days of domination are over. I am the new king to the Tour!" As for the man that brought up the rear, Scotty 7, he actually played pretty well. Scotty 7 posted an even 90 on the day. He hit some great shots, but also whiffed on a few as well. "All in all, I am pleased with my round today. I have not been playing much this year, and I am not in golf shape. I know I have tons of work left, but I am pleased with my round. It is just unbelievable that Luna has a Reunion Tour win with that swing of his! But good for him." That about sums it up for everyone.

Luna has a Tour win and the 4th member of the Reunion Tour has yet to make an appearance! Will Drew make it to an event this season? Luna thinks not, especially after his win this weekend. "Everyone knows I have the most talent out here. Drew knows that I have passed him with this win. I really believe that I will chase down Dick's record of 6 Cup wins." From this man's view point, Luna has a long way to go before his challenges for a Reunion Cup victory. However, he did close out very strong this past Sunday. Has he overcome his mental issues? Only time will tell, but he does have a Reunion Tour W in his back pocket. Guess the KC Royals have a shot at the World Series too!

Movin' On Up!

We are a mere 11 days away from the 2010 Reunion Cup! One player is fighting his swing, another is still searching for his Zen, and yet another is rocketing up the ranks! Driving ranges across Nashville, Atlanta and Charlotte are flooded with anxious Cup members tweaking their swing and dialing up their chipping and putting. Apparently one member is hitting his stride as the Cup draws near. Jason Luna is torching Nashville golf courses with his huge drives, sweet flop shots and a deft putting touch.

Jason Luna entered his Cup warm-up round as the unquestioned #4 seed. However, all that changed by the time he walked up the 18th fairway. Jason played a round this weekend in the scorching heat at a local Nashville course and put on a show. With towering drives piping the middle of the fairway, he often found himself with nothing more than a lob wedge into the green. With a crushing driver, pin seeking wedges and a hot flat stick, Luna vaults out of the cellar into the #2 seed. Scotty Illustrated caught up with Luna following his round: “I know that I have more talent than anyone in the Reunion Cup field. I simply have more shots in my bag then than those guys do. Drew is all over the map with his driver right now. Scott, well, he IS Scotty7 for a reason. And Nick is still looking for his gay Zen. I think this is my year! After 6 years on the tour, I think it is my time.” Only time will tell on that one. One Cup member that asked to remain anonymous said, “When it comes to Jason, you have to apply the Cup Choke Multiplier. This is an equation that factors in the pressure of the Reunion Cup, a player’s CP (choke potential) plus their average CRS (Cup Round Score). Only one current Cup member has seen him play this season, so we really have no honest way to assess Jason this year. Given his previous Cup scores and his high CP (choke potential) we can pretty accurately assume that he will have at least one round in the high 90’s, if not both rounds.”

Only 11 days until the talking is over! What will Jason do with his current #2 seeding? If you buy into the Cup Choke Multiplier, then it looks like nothing at all. But that is why the tee it up! Stranger things have happened in the past. The Brave won a World Series*, the Tigers and Ray have both play in the Series and the Champ sent out a photo of himself with nothing but a cigar (it was small and hard to see), a tumbler of scotch, the Green jacket and a smile! Should be fun!

Guest Contributor, Dick Straight, Views Trainwreck x 2

Greetings,

I was recently invited to follow two 2010 ReUnion Cup members during a preparation round in the last few weeks before the Cup. The only thing clear from my observations is that they both need a lot more preparation. I'm near speechlessness in trying to describe what I saw, much like eyewitnesses to a catastrophic head on train collision.


Addressing Scottie Seven (or Ten) first:

Jumping out as an initial impression is the fact that his mental game is so weak that he failed to drive to the appropriate course, which cost him much needed warm up time on the range. The good news is that he did finally warm up...after twelve holes! I had heard much talk and boasting about how wonderful his range work had been going these last couple of weeks and how he wished the Cup were tomorrow. Well, the range ain't the course, Sally. For twelve holes I couldn't discern any difference from the player I was watching and the notorious Scottie 7 who consistently parks his keester in third place (last if Luna isn't playing). But then the storm clouds parted and little rays of sunshine burst through. His final six holes: par, par, par, quadruple (a minor hiccup), par, bogey. For someone who looked close to catching a taxi on the twelfth hole, his bear down resolve was quite impressive on the home stretch.
During his out of body final leg, he hit crisp wedges that zipped backwards liked trained yo-yos, sank four and five footers for par, and generally looked like someone with golf game to match his trendy, yet classic attire. His most Cup-worthy skill today...putting. I've never seen him start so many balls within eighteen inches of the appropriate line or so confidently sink four to six foot putts. A caveat: he four jacked from seventeen feet.
If I had to come up with one word to describe his game today: SLLOOOOWWWWW! On top of his customary unready snailishness, he now has a preshot routine something akin to a Jedi warrior shadow sparring. Unfortunately, Yoda says the force is weak, very weak, with this one.
His score today: 107.

Addressing Zen-less Primm's performanceless performance:

I've heard talk about this mythical zen-like state of golf awareness that Nick has been searching for. Well, he ain't found it. Maybe it was the fact that due to his coma-like meditative state he overslept and forfeited his opportunity to hit range balls for two minutes (much less the forty-five minutes he so anally requires). Maybe this whole zen thing is mularky intended to deceive his competitors. I don't know, but it sure didn't help him.
He truly failed to do anything well today. If you make his 12! on number nine a bogey then he would have turned in an 84. However, if "if's and but's" were blowjobs and greats tits, we'd all be happy regardless of our score, now wouldn't we. It was ugly, plain and simple. Sliced drivers. Chip shots into bunkers. Five foot lag putts. I'll tell you one thing that went his way today: luck. He had at least three tee shots hit trees (or a maintenance shed) and get bounced back into play. Bottom line...this kid ain't ready. One word to sum up his game right now: Vulnerable.
His score today: 91.

New Vegas Odds: Drew 1 to 2
Nick 8 to 1
Luna 25 to 1
Anakin 25 to 1

Be sure to catch a video of each of these pretenders.
(After 30 minutes of unsuccessful uploading attempts, I have determined that
the videos have been deemed unsuitable for viewing purposes due to their
harmful content.)

Regretfully,


Dick Straight

No Day At The Beach

Welcome to August! We only have 19 days until the first shot is fired at the 2010 Reunion Cup! For some the Cup could not get here quick enough. For others, 19 days is not nearly enough time! Today Scott and Nick played a tune up (or tune down) round together at Flat Creek Country Club in Peachtree City, Ga. Both players came in feeling good about their strides thus far. However, both left with serious questions regarding their games. Before we dive into the story here, I must give a quick footnote: Neither player hit a single range ball today. Nick overslept and Scott went to the wrong course! Yes, dumb asses both!

Scott entered today's round filled with excitement and anticipation! He said, "I really like where my game is right now. I feel like all of the range time has improved my swing tempo and ball striking. I see a solid round in the 80's." Oh, how wrong he was! He stepped out of his truck, onto the first tee, and simply did not have it on the front 9. A bogey on 1, a bogey on 2 and then the fun began. 3 triples with a 10 mixed in brought his day to a crashing halt! He found more bunkers today than he has seen all summer! It was not all bad, though. He managed to finish his final 6 holes with 4 pars and a bogey. "This was no day at the beach! I am extremely disappointed in my performance today. I was just never 100% mentally in it. I was close to pulling a Gayson and throwing in the towel. But then I dug down, put some great swings on the ball and hung up some pars. I know I have more talent than I showed today. I just need to put in some more work." Unfortunately for Scott, there are not too many work days left!

As for Zen, he put fought hard. Just like he always does. He started the day with back to back pars, but just never really seemed in control of his chi. Nick's search for his chi often lead him right into the rough and woods. While not finding his chi, he did find his ball, avoiding penalty strokes. Heading onto the 9th tee box Nick said, "I really have not played great, but if I par here I can steal a 42! And I mean STEAL a decent side here!" We all know what happens next. Yep, a big number. Penalty stroke off of the tee box, a crappy second, a crummy chip into the bunker...well, you know the drill. All those swings = 12. At the turn we caught up the Zen, "I am not certain what my sensei was doing during our Golf Knowledge Transfer Session, but I will not go back! I can find my own path. And I do not have my Zen today! I am uncertain if the zen comes to me, or if I have go get my zen." Well, today there was no zen for Mr. Primm. He plugged along on the back 9, par, double bogey, bogey, par, double bogey. It was not ugly, nor was it pretty!

All in all, these two guys may not mount much of a threat during the Cup! Could be a run away win for Notre Dame. Gayson will likely take 3rd place in a route this year. Who knows? This could be the ugliest Cup in history! We had a guest reporter following today's round as well. He has video footage to add, in addition to his insights. Stay tuned!

Hot Cup News

As the 2010 Reunion Cup approaches, the field attempts to gain or regain their swing. Everyone with the exception of Gayson that is. In stunning news, Gayson released a statement announcing his retirement from golf. Just a few days after SI released it's Best Player Without A Reunion Cup Title article, Gayson put in a round that failed to meet even his low standards. This article put undue pressure on Gayson, and we all know how he handles pressure.

Zen Primm is still following the path less traveled to another Cup. Zen recently met with his newly acquired Golf Sensei in hopes of discovering the Path to Righteousness Upon the Links. He searched his soul long and hard for the best Sensei possible, and he was delivered to a Dave Pelz disciple. After their first golf knowledge transfer session, Zen Primm learned the cause of his unharmonious swings. Most of us learn that we have takeaway issues, tempo issues, or worse. What Zen learned was much deeper. His Golf Sensei discovered that Zen is simply playing with the wrong clubs! All he needs to do to reach the Path of Righteous Golf is purchase new sticks! It is not the Indian, but rather the arrow!

Scott continues with his plan of "Practice Makes Perfect". He believes the best way for him to preform at a top level is to spend as much time as possible on the range. In an early measuring stick round at Harbor Town, Scott learned that he is on the way, but just needs more range time. "I felt good about my game after Hilton Head. I just to iron out a few wrinkles and keep pounding balls." He will put his theory to the test this weekend during a round with Zen and his outdated clubs at Flat Creek Country Club. "I am hoping all of my range time pays off with a solid round this weekend. I need to find the fairway off the tee box and hopefully continue putting well." We will see if this works. Scott have never put two solid rounds together in the history of the Cup. Heck, he has barely put one solid round together.

As for Drew, no one actually knows. Scott has played with both Gayson and Zen this summer, and has seen some quality golf from both. No one has seen Drew play. All we have to go off of is his reports. Drew claims his driver is going sideways a ton, but it could be a smokescreen. We will find out in just a few short weeks!

The Front Runners