Movin' On Up!

We are a mere 11 days away from the 2010 Reunion Cup! One player is fighting his swing, another is still searching for his Zen, and yet another is rocketing up the ranks! Driving ranges across Nashville, Atlanta and Charlotte are flooded with anxious Cup members tweaking their swing and dialing up their chipping and putting. Apparently one member is hitting his stride as the Cup draws near. Jason Luna is torching Nashville golf courses with his huge drives, sweet flop shots and a deft putting touch.

Jason Luna entered his Cup warm-up round as the unquestioned #4 seed. However, all that changed by the time he walked up the 18th fairway. Jason played a round this weekend in the scorching heat at a local Nashville course and put on a show. With towering drives piping the middle of the fairway, he often found himself with nothing more than a lob wedge into the green. With a crushing driver, pin seeking wedges and a hot flat stick, Luna vaults out of the cellar into the #2 seed. Scotty Illustrated caught up with Luna following his round: “I know that I have more talent than anyone in the Reunion Cup field. I simply have more shots in my bag then than those guys do. Drew is all over the map with his driver right now. Scott, well, he IS Scotty7 for a reason. And Nick is still looking for his gay Zen. I think this is my year! After 6 years on the tour, I think it is my time.” Only time will tell on that one. One Cup member that asked to remain anonymous said, “When it comes to Jason, you have to apply the Cup Choke Multiplier. This is an equation that factors in the pressure of the Reunion Cup, a player’s CP (choke potential) plus their average CRS (Cup Round Score). Only one current Cup member has seen him play this season, so we really have no honest way to assess Jason this year. Given his previous Cup scores and his high CP (choke potential) we can pretty accurately assume that he will have at least one round in the high 90’s, if not both rounds.”

Only 11 days until the talking is over! What will Jason do with his current #2 seeding? If you buy into the Cup Choke Multiplier, then it looks like nothing at all. But that is why the tee it up! Stranger things have happened in the past. The Brave won a World Series*, the Tigers and Ray have both play in the Series and the Champ sent out a photo of himself with nothing but a cigar (it was small and hard to see), a tumbler of scotch, the Green jacket and a smile! Should be fun!

Guest Contributor, Dick Straight, Views Trainwreck x 2

Greetings,

I was recently invited to follow two 2010 ReUnion Cup members during a preparation round in the last few weeks before the Cup. The only thing clear from my observations is that they both need a lot more preparation. I'm near speechlessness in trying to describe what I saw, much like eyewitnesses to a catastrophic head on train collision.


Addressing Scottie Seven (or Ten) first:

Jumping out as an initial impression is the fact that his mental game is so weak that he failed to drive to the appropriate course, which cost him much needed warm up time on the range. The good news is that he did finally warm up...after twelve holes! I had heard much talk and boasting about how wonderful his range work had been going these last couple of weeks and how he wished the Cup were tomorrow. Well, the range ain't the course, Sally. For twelve holes I couldn't discern any difference from the player I was watching and the notorious Scottie 7 who consistently parks his keester in third place (last if Luna isn't playing). But then the storm clouds parted and little rays of sunshine burst through. His final six holes: par, par, par, quadruple (a minor hiccup), par, bogey. For someone who looked close to catching a taxi on the twelfth hole, his bear down resolve was quite impressive on the home stretch.
During his out of body final leg, he hit crisp wedges that zipped backwards liked trained yo-yos, sank four and five footers for par, and generally looked like someone with golf game to match his trendy, yet classic attire. His most Cup-worthy skill today...putting. I've never seen him start so many balls within eighteen inches of the appropriate line or so confidently sink four to six foot putts. A caveat: he four jacked from seventeen feet.
If I had to come up with one word to describe his game today: SLLOOOOWWWWW! On top of his customary unready snailishness, he now has a preshot routine something akin to a Jedi warrior shadow sparring. Unfortunately, Yoda says the force is weak, very weak, with this one.
His score today: 107.

Addressing Zen-less Primm's performanceless performance:

I've heard talk about this mythical zen-like state of golf awareness that Nick has been searching for. Well, he ain't found it. Maybe it was the fact that due to his coma-like meditative state he overslept and forfeited his opportunity to hit range balls for two minutes (much less the forty-five minutes he so anally requires). Maybe this whole zen thing is mularky intended to deceive his competitors. I don't know, but it sure didn't help him.
He truly failed to do anything well today. If you make his 12! on number nine a bogey then he would have turned in an 84. However, if "if's and but's" were blowjobs and greats tits, we'd all be happy regardless of our score, now wouldn't we. It was ugly, plain and simple. Sliced drivers. Chip shots into bunkers. Five foot lag putts. I'll tell you one thing that went his way today: luck. He had at least three tee shots hit trees (or a maintenance shed) and get bounced back into play. Bottom line...this kid ain't ready. One word to sum up his game right now: Vulnerable.
His score today: 91.

New Vegas Odds: Drew 1 to 2
Nick 8 to 1
Luna 25 to 1
Anakin 25 to 1

Be sure to catch a video of each of these pretenders.
(After 30 minutes of unsuccessful uploading attempts, I have determined that
the videos have been deemed unsuitable for viewing purposes due to their
harmful content.)

Regretfully,


Dick Straight

No Day At The Beach

Welcome to August! We only have 19 days until the first shot is fired at the 2010 Reunion Cup! For some the Cup could not get here quick enough. For others, 19 days is not nearly enough time! Today Scott and Nick played a tune up (or tune down) round together at Flat Creek Country Club in Peachtree City, Ga. Both players came in feeling good about their strides thus far. However, both left with serious questions regarding their games. Before we dive into the story here, I must give a quick footnote: Neither player hit a single range ball today. Nick overslept and Scott went to the wrong course! Yes, dumb asses both!

Scott entered today's round filled with excitement and anticipation! He said, "I really like where my game is right now. I feel like all of the range time has improved my swing tempo and ball striking. I see a solid round in the 80's." Oh, how wrong he was! He stepped out of his truck, onto the first tee, and simply did not have it on the front 9. A bogey on 1, a bogey on 2 and then the fun began. 3 triples with a 10 mixed in brought his day to a crashing halt! He found more bunkers today than he has seen all summer! It was not all bad, though. He managed to finish his final 6 holes with 4 pars and a bogey. "This was no day at the beach! I am extremely disappointed in my performance today. I was just never 100% mentally in it. I was close to pulling a Gayson and throwing in the towel. But then I dug down, put some great swings on the ball and hung up some pars. I know I have more talent than I showed today. I just need to put in some more work." Unfortunately for Scott, there are not too many work days left!

As for Zen, he put fought hard. Just like he always does. He started the day with back to back pars, but just never really seemed in control of his chi. Nick's search for his chi often lead him right into the rough and woods. While not finding his chi, he did find his ball, avoiding penalty strokes. Heading onto the 9th tee box Nick said, "I really have not played great, but if I par here I can steal a 42! And I mean STEAL a decent side here!" We all know what happens next. Yep, a big number. Penalty stroke off of the tee box, a crappy second, a crummy chip into the bunker...well, you know the drill. All those swings = 12. At the turn we caught up the Zen, "I am not certain what my sensei was doing during our Golf Knowledge Transfer Session, but I will not go back! I can find my own path. And I do not have my Zen today! I am uncertain if the zen comes to me, or if I have go get my zen." Well, today there was no zen for Mr. Primm. He plugged along on the back 9, par, double bogey, bogey, par, double bogey. It was not ugly, nor was it pretty!

All in all, these two guys may not mount much of a threat during the Cup! Could be a run away win for Notre Dame. Gayson will likely take 3rd place in a route this year. Who knows? This could be the ugliest Cup in history! We had a guest reporter following today's round as well. He has video footage to add, in addition to his insights. Stay tuned!